7:50 PM / 30 March

Damn. Talk about dedication. 4 weeks. That's how long I had to wait for HMV to bring in a copy of Protest The Hero's latest album called "Fortress". And I still had to pay 32 bucks on top of that. Well, I guess that shows how much I love this band.

They are really not your typical musical ensemble, if that made any sense at all. They are highly technical in their playing and they blend together perfectly. They do not bind themselves to any particular genre (mainly because it is very hard to classify them) and they do not restrict themselves to usual musical standards. Crazy tempo changes, uneven bars, multiple riffs and all the likes.

But one thing that really stands out about the band for me is how much meaning there is behind their music. Like their first major release "Kezia" which was a concept album influenced by the works of Fyodor Dostoevsky. It's mainly about a girl named Kezia who is to be executed. "Fortress" on the other hand is derived from a less fictional base. It takes it's lead from the time of Genghis Khan and references mainly to the concept of goddess worship which was prominent in that age.

So yeah. There is a lot of thought that goes into their music. And the fact that their subject matter is totally different from what most musicians release is why I like their music so much. I guess mainly it's because I tend to daydream while I listen to my music and the topics they speak about just helps the process.


Bloodmeat by Protest The Hero



Enemies of Khanate strung on hooks like pigs to slaughter
Heads will roll, throats will be slit
And blood will flow like springs of water
To the rivers red, across the ochre steppe

A thousand fathers killed,
A thousand virgin daughters spread with swords still wet,
With the blood of their dead

Nurjan is upon us, he kills in silence after prayers
Genghis Khan is upon us and he slays his betrayers

Thus still the fools of God will guard the city of our birth
Hold an ear to the ground
To hear the sound of
Clamoring and horses stammer as their gallop meets the earth

A thousand fathers killed,
A thousand virgin daughters spread with swords still wet,
With the blood of their dead

Tomorrow they will find us
Hide the children free of sin
We will meet their blades by morning
Protected only by your skin

Tomorrow we will find them
Seek the youngest of their kin
And we will beat them with our fury
And we will crush them all like vermin

4:04 PM / 28 March

6 Random Things About Me

i.) I'm a Virgo

ii.) I'll be moving to my granddad's place in May

iii.) I tend to contemplate a lot about life. Especially the darker aspects. Things which have more impact on us than it may seem.

iv.) I wanna write down everything I think about but that seems a bit weird to me so I choose not to do it. I end up only remembering a few line and phrases that I associate with certain events. (i.e. A lot of my creativity wasted). If I'm lucky, I'll get ideas while at the computer and I'll type them out. This rarely happens though.

v.) I wanna write a book. Or at least a story so to speak. I've had the idea in my head for about a year. I always tell myself at the start of the holidays that I shall use the time to write it. But so far all I've done is write the story out in my head. I need motivation to start doing it. It's going to be about a prophecised apocalypse, set during World War III, 2 years after the last reserves of oil are used up and how Man is willing to believe anything while in their darkest hour.

vi.) The song that I wrote entitled "For You" that I placed in my previous post was inspired by Boxcar Racer's "There Is". I wrote it based on the melody and not the topic which the song talks about.

There Is by Boxcar Racer



This vacation's useless
These white pills aren't kind
I've given a lot of thought on this 13-hour drive
I miss the grinding concrete where we sat past 8 or 9
And slowly finished laughing in the glow of our headlights
I've given a lot of thought to the nights we use to have
The days have come and gone
Our lives went by so fast
I faintly remember breathing on your bedroom floor
Where i laid and told you, but you sweared you loved me more

Do you care if i don't know what to say
Will you sleep tonight, will you think of me
Will i shake this off pretend its all okay
That there someone out there who feels just like me
There is

Those notes you wrote me
I've kept them all
I've given a lot of thought of how to write you back this fall
With every single letter in every single word
There will be a hidden message about a boy that
loves a girl

Do you care if i don't know what to say
Will you sleep tonight, will you think of me
Will i shake this off, pretend its all okay
that There's someone out there who feels just like me
There is

Do you care if i don't know what to say?
Will you sleep tonight, will you think of me
Will i shake this off, pretend its all okay
That there's someone out there who feels just like me

Do you care if i don't know what to say?
Will you sleep tonight, will you think of me
Will i shake this off, pretend its all okay
That there's someone out there who feels just like me
There is

1:35 PM / 25 March

A little something I wrote. It's a song, not a poem. Almost feels like one though.

For You

I, look up into the sky
As I, sit here and wonder why
Did this world pass us by
Can't you see the tears
Flowing from our eyes

My life, living in disguise
As I, sit here and wonder why
What happened to yesterday
Will we stay as one
Will it be ok

Will we inherit all
The sins of a generation
Will we be forced
To save a decaying nation

For you

But as time moves on
We'll give hope a chance
Maybe we'll live to have
Our very last dance

But as hope goes on
And time wears thin
Can we stay for long
And try to bury their sins

For you

She's, with a tear in her eyes
As she, sits there and wonders why
Was there a point to all of this
What did we do
To deserve this poisoned kiss

If we're left alone
With all your problems
Can we save this ship
From your destruction

Will we inherit all
The sins of your generation
What must be done
To save a decaying nation

For you

But as time moves on
We'll give hope a chance
Maybe We'll live to have
Our very last dance

But as hope goes on
And time wears thin
Can we stay for long
And try to bury their sins

For you

So in this last declaration
I'll make my stand
Just for you
This is our last salvation
Our hopes now rest
In our nation of youth

5:58 AM / 21 March

LED ASTRAY by FREAQ

5 years on and it's still not over.
Have you forgotten why you started this war?
Was it for peace or liberty?
Or did you want something more?

Blood of the innocent is spilled everyday.
Can't you see that he's just taking lives?
Taking them away.
With democracy the disguise.

Do you wonder why the economy is doing so bad?
275 million dollars a day
Wouldn't that make you mad?

I say that war is the justifiable product of peace
But maybe I was wrong
What is it that it seeks to spill more of?
The blood or the oil?

Men sent into battle
Their courage I respect
Though led by the cowardice
Of a questionable redneck man.

Your own soil gets wrecked.
The wrath not of a man.
Yet your resources
Spent on other more 'important' tasks at hand.

Another mother cries.
Her son now gone.
Who cares if she's American or Iraqi.
Out of her chest, her heart is torn.

Long shall it be remembered
On that very day.
Our very own martyr.
Led us astray.

In Remembrance.



Some other minor points before I go off. Just tiny little observations I made.

Saddam is gone. Yet look at how many have died just for the persecution of just one man. I concede that his aides were also persecuted, but look at the big picture. It's still a large difference. And isn't it amazing that you can find Saddam Hussein in a tiny hole yet you cannot find another wanted man in the form of Osama Bin Laden? One has to question the number of lives needed to be sacrificed before we can get to him.

Another thing. The Iraqi Occupation was initially given the code name Operation Iraqi Liberation. It was then changed to Operation Iraqi Freedom. We can plainly see the acronym for the first code name is O.I.L. Was that a coincidence or were they trying to mess with us by giving us a hint?

The main reason I do not support the Iraqi Occupation is the fact that lives of innocent people are put on the line. As opposed to the Japanese Occupation or the Nazi Invasion, this war was never a case of an aggressor trying to exert control. It is the case of a country trying to suppress a suspected (or maybe even expected) aggressor. So the innocents are not really killed or murdered. However they are seen as more of an expendable resource. So who are the exact victims? I guess that's a question that may come around to bite us hard.

1:09 AM / 20 March

Well the results for the past semester are out. I seriously do not know what to say about my grades this time around. Not that my results were bad. But they weren't really that good either. So I'm not disappointed yet am I not really that excited about them. Here's the breakdown:

XML and Web Services : B
Software Engineering Practices : B
Business Communications 3 : A
Customer Relationship Management : B
Introduction to Market Research : B
International Business : Distinction
IT Innovation Project : A

First things first. How the hell did I get an A for that darned IT Innovation Project. I seriously thought that I totally screwed that one up. I mean I was bracing myself for a C or a D. But somehow I got an A. I guess my positive thinking paid off. I somehow managed to pull off a miracle.

The thing that I'm disappointed about is the number of B's that I have this time around. 4 is quite a lot considering my grades for the other semesters.

The distinction for International Business and the A for Business Communications 3 were kinda expected. Not that I'm bragging or anything. Just that those were the modules that I kinda prefer. International Business is just something I like, doing all that analysis of different economies and industries. Business Communications is pretty much very language-based.

Hmmm...I guess there is still room for improvement next semester. My GPA now is 3.552. I think that's a bit of a drop but overall it still maintained at 3.5+ around there.

Next semester is another study semester before I go for my Final Project and Attachment. Then after that I'll graduate and will be in NS to get my ass kicked. Hope I make it through in one piece.

---

The lead singer in this band is only 14 or 15 years old. Kick ass stuff.

Shockwave by Black Tide



I'm like a shockwave coming through your door!
I'm like a bullet at the speed of light!
I go around taking peoples lives!
While you set around saying lies.

When I'm around you will feel the pain.
And when I'm done you will be no more.
Your life is through now mine begins.
My day's of agony are now gone!

I'm shockwave and I don't need anyone!
I'll follow the way's till the day I die!
I'm a shockwave and I'll take your fucking life!!!!!
Don't mess with me I'm a shockwave ready to kill!

I am the one who feeds off your life.
I'll be right there when your ready to die!
I am a killer but there all scared.
When I rise no time is spared!

Shockwave!!

15 March / 5:15 AM

Hmmm...What to say. What to say.

It's been about 2 weeks since I last blogged. Not that I've been busy. I just didn't have anything to blog about. So let's see.

So the A level results are out. From what I've seen not many people were too happy nor confident about their prospects. Well all I gotta say is just hang in there guys. It'll all be over soon.

That gets me thinking about the past few months in my life. School was tough and my life was even tougher. Sometimes I even felt like giving up. This was pretty much the toughest semester yet. Some people think life in poly is easy but that is not the case. We only have 15 weeks to crank out results for around 7 modules. That's a lot to ask for. Especially when you are getting hit by deadlines left and right. The stress to keep up is off the chart.

This was the case for the past semester. There were a lot of times I just planned on giving up hope. Especially the last day before one of my biggest project presentations to date. Then as I was getting off the bus to go home, 'The Air That I Breathe" by All That Remains started playing on my headset. And the things that I felt when I listened to that song were just indescribable. It was like something just clicked and I suddenly got this massive second wind that helped me push through the project deadline.

After a few days I kinda came together with this concept about positive thinking. And the basis of my concept is that what drives our desire to perform and our abilities is doubt. Even the slightest presence of doubt will adversely affect our drive and our abilities. I place more emphasis on drive because that is where I believe doubt has the most effect on.

This is basically the basis of my concept. "Live Life Fierce"

I say fierce because that is what I seem to feel when I get all the doubt and negativity out of my thinking. Everytime I listen to "The Air That I Breathe" and I remind myself about the meaning behind that song it always gets me riled up. Just thinking positive is not enough. You have to drive out every possible presence of doubt and to do that, I believe is only achieved when you really psych yourself up. Sort of your mind just going ballistic and running wild. That is what happens when you release your mind from the pangs of doubt.

But it's impossible to keep in that state of mind forever. Your brain will burn out. That's why now when I feel down and out I'll just listen to "The Air That I Breathe". But I knew that was not gonna be enough for me. So I actually wrote a little poem-like/pledge thingy quite a while back. I kinda take it more like a pledge so that I never forget about my goals and aspirations.

NOT NOW. NOT NEVER by FREAQ

I say a lot of things.
And a lot of things I am not.
But still I am true.
In my words and my actions.
What makes me who I am.
Is not what I am now.
It's who I can be.
It's in my control.
It is not in the control of others.
I am everything and nothing.
I am not immortal.
But in memories is where I shall live.
And I shall leave my mark.
On a world that is dying.
Dying at the hands of the people which it feeds.
But I will not relent.
I shall move forward.
Till my very last breath.
Be it now or the end of eternity.
I will never surrender.
NOT NOW. NOT NEVER

This is just another way to keep focused. Always remind yourself that there is always something to look forward to. And if there seems like nothing left. Always remember that family and friends are there.

So for all the A Levelers who are down and out, take some time and just think about your situation and all the possibilities available to you. And never, ever give up. If we were animals, the moment we gave up, we would all die.



The Air That I Breathe by All That Remains

I will not relent no no
Never live with defeat, never falter
It's like the air that I breathe(like the air I breathe)
I will not choke on failure
And I will not choke on failure

I am a mortal man
But I'm not falling, I'm not broken yet
I am a mortal man
But I hold tight to my beliefs now

I have suffered defeat, pain, loss
Still I push to the edge, never falter
For this cements my beliefs (this cements my beliefs)
I'll remain my own master

I will not relent no no
Never suffer defeat, never falter
For this cements my beliefs (this cements my beliefs)
I will not choke on failure

I am a mortal man
But I'm not falling I'm not broken yet
I am a mortal man
But I hold tight to my beliefs now

I am a mortal man
But I'm not falling I'm not broken yet
I am a mortal man
But I hold tight to my beliefs now

I will not relent
I will not relent, no no
I will not relent
Never suffer defeat never falter
I will not relent, no no

Never suffer
Never falter
I will not relent, no no
Never suffer
Never falter

---

So yeah, that's all for now. Just decided to leave it at that. Hope that which ever of my peeps who didn't do well for their A's just read the above post. Nothing is ever worth feeling disappointed for.

One more thing. Something's wrong with my tagbox. Don't know exactly what though. It's done by a local guy so I decided to show support for locals by using his tagbox. Recently there have been quite a few problems. Hope it gets back up soon.