10:42 PM / 31 December

I guess it's time that I give a more proper post after posting nothing but MVs for the past couple of months or so. Now more so that it's New Year's Eve. So here goes.

This year has been okay overall. There were times where times seemed kinda bleak. Almost went ballistic a couple of times. But there were the high points. Watching 2 grand weddings sure helped. Oh yeah, and I managed to get a job. Yay.

This year I realized that your lifestyle and musical choices don't have to be separate. That's what I got from Straight Edge Hardcore. Straight Edge is a lifestyle free of addictions. No drugs, no alcohol and no smoking. My life, my rules. But most importantly, it's the music that makes up for all the lack of addictions which makes sXe so great.

Music...Hmmm...So much to say about music. 2 bands in particular. Protest the Hero and Machine Head. 2 distinctly different bands but great in their own way. PTH are pretty much one of a few bands that possess great musicality and great songwriting. The meaning within their songs are totally amazing. There is so much to comprehend just from the lyrics alone. Multiple meanings and hidden metaphors. It would make for great literature. And if that wasn't good enough, they are also a very technical band. With riffs that can pretty much blow any simple guitar solo out of the water and great harmony between all the guitars plus superior drumming, it all makes for one hell of a sound. And what makes it even better is the groups originality. They don't care about mass commercialisation. What they care about is their music and how good it is to them.

Machine Head on the other hand. Well what can I say. Metal album of the decade. It's pretty much the new Master of Puppets in my opinion. Great riffing and intertwining guitarwork. Killer beats and a monstrous growl. That's pretty much the reason why I bought the goddamn album. It's just awe-inspiring. Nothing more to it.

So for 2008, let's see. All I want is a roof over my head and food on the table to eat. That's all. And maybe something extra but that's for me to try and accomplish myself.

---

Before I go, I just have to post a music video. This is a great band and they deserve to be highlighted. And this song actually has some good meaning in it for me.

Higinia by blessthefall



If you could stay here for just
a little bit, a little while, a little bit with me
you're what makes me,
and if god could keep you with me
I'd trade just about anything

You're what makes me want to change things
I would die just to live and yet we all live to die
You're what makes me want to change,
you will not die
you will not die
you will not die
you will not die

If you could stay here for just
a little bit, a little while, a little bit with me
you're what makes me,
and if god could keep you with me
I'd trade just about anything

I'd trade anything...

Take a step further back to where you belong
Take a look at your life what have you become

I never had the chance to explain myself
I never had the chance to apologize
I never had the chance to explain myself
I never had...

You will not die
You will not die
You will not die
You will not...

3:04 AM / 26 December

Holy hell. I usually don't do more than 1 post in a day. But I was surfing around Protest The Hero's MySpace and I realized that their new music video for their new single 'Bloodmeat' was already out. I watched it on Much Music's website and I almost pissed my pants. It is fuckin amazing. I truly hail PTH as musical geniuses. I can't wait for their new album 'Fortress' to come out on the 29th of January. I hope Singapore brings it in.

I couldn't find a good version of the music video on youtube but I did find a great live version of it. So here goes.

Bloodmeat (Live) by Protest The Hero

2:17 AM / 26 December

Another Hero Lost by Shadows Fall



I'll never leave you
But fate has come to silence me
Darkness is all that I see
I cannot reach you
And soon the earth will cover me
It's become so hard to breathe

Forever is waiting
The final steps you're taking
Will soon be buried in the sand

All of the battles
They say we won
They leave another thousand lives undone
Another thousand lives [undone]

Forever is waiting
The final steps you're taking
Will soon be buried in the sand

You're gone but not forgot
Another hero lost
The sorrow builds with every passing
All the lessons that you taught
And all the light you brought
Lives on in the eyes of your son

[No words]

Forever is waiting
The final steps you're taking
Will soon be buried in the sand

You're gone but not forgot
Another hero lost
The sorrow builds with every passing
All the lessons that you taught
And all the light you brought
Lives on in the eyes of your son

2:44 PM / 14 December

Fuckin' crazy band

In The Belly Of A Shark by Gallows



So here I lie
In the belly of a shark
So fucking cold and so fucking dark
So here I lie
In the belly of a shark
And how the fuck did I get this far?
Cut yourself first
They can smell your blood
From forty miles away
There'll be here in no time
I'm gonna show you
Exactly what you mean to me
I'm gonna eat every man that you see

11:37 PM / 7 December

Serj Tankian should be elected to the US Presidency. Haha. This is from his first solo album. This guy is really a genius.

Empty Walls by Serj Tankian



Your empty walls...
Your empty walls...
Pretentious attention
Dismissive aprehension
Don't waste your time, on coffins today
When we decline, from the confines of our mind
Don't waste your time, on coffins today

Don't you see their bodies burning?
Desolate and full of yearning
Dying of anticipation
Choking from intoxication

Don't you see their bodies burning?
Desolate and full of yearning
Dying of anticipation
Choking from intoxication

I want you
To be
Left behind those empty walls
Don't
You see
From behind those empty walls

Those empty walls
When we decline, from the confines of our mind
Don't waste your time, on coffins today

Don't you see their bodies burning?
Desolate and full of yearning
Dying of anticipation
Choking from intoxication

Don't you see their bodies burning?
Desolate and full of yearning
Dying of anticipation
Choking from intoxication

I want you
To be
Left behind those empty walls
Don't
You see
From behind those empty walls
Want you to be
Left behind those empty walls
Don't
You see
From behind those empty walls

From behind those empty walls
From behind those empty walls
The walls
From behind those empty walls

I loved you, yes
Though they be
For you killed my family

Don't you see their bodies burning?
Desolate and full of yearning
Dying of anticipation
Choking from intoxication

Don't you see their bodies burning?
Desolate and full of yearning
Dying of anticipation
Choking from intoxication

I want you
To be
Left behind those empty walls
Told you
To see
From behind those empty walls
Want you to be, left behind those empty walls
Told you
To see
From behind those empty walls
From behind those empty walls
From behind those fucked up walls
From behind those God damn walls
Those walls...
Those walls...

11:18 AM / 2 December

Man..It's already December? Godammit. This is why new year resolutions never get done. 365 days is too little. We need more days dammit. Oh well...

Here's a great straightedge band. For those of you who don't know what straight edge is just drop me a message and I'll tell you about it. I'm too lazy to write about it here.

Forever by Throwdown



I know a thing or two about you,
Youre bullshit attitude.
Youre fucking weak and lemme tell you it shows right through.
You dont know shit about me or my friends,
What they are what i am.
So cut the shit and try not to pretend.
Youre scared of who and what we are and so you question yourself,
But your pride wont let you show your fear to anyone else.
You dont know me,
So dont judge me.
You dont know you,
Your too scared to.
You think you know,
Why im here after all these years.
You wanna know?
Well ill tell you fucking why, GO.

For myself.
For my friends.
For my family.
FOREVER
Ill take this to the bitter end

For myself.
For my friends.
For my family.
FOREVER
Ill take this to the bitter end

You dont know a single thing about me,
Just what my enemies say.
Well, fuck them and fuck you,
That shit wont cut it today.
Be a fucking man and stand up to find the truth in yourself,
For yourself,
By yourself and not from anyone else.
You think you know,
Why im here after all these years.
You wanna know?
Well ill tell you fucking why, GO!

For myself.
For my friends.
For my family.
FOREVER
I'll take this to the bitter end.

For myself
For my friends
For my family.
FOREVER
I'll take this to the bitter end.

(Where the fuck are you?)
I'm still here and still proud
and I still know what it takes to be true.

Yeah, to be true.

For myself
For my friends
For my family.

STRAIGHT FUCKING EDGE.

12:57 AM / 28 November

This is from Scary Kids Scaring Kids' previous album but I just had to post it. It's a fun song to listen to so I thought I would just share it with whoever passes by here. I put up a live version of it too.

My Darkest Hour by Scary Kids Scaring Kids



Let me up
Let me out
I am suffocating
I can't live without
This all behind me
Is this almost over now?

the longest night my darkest hour
Where you will find me
Pale, lost, and dying
From the truth

You left me at the altar
My heart in my hand
I am tired and broken
Haunted by memories of
The life you've stolen
I am tired and broken

You left me at the altar
My heart in my hand
(YOU LEFT ME!)
In my hand...
(YOU LEFT ME!)
(AND I WON'T FORGET!)

Let me out, let me out
Lips are trembling as i cannot make a sound
my love betrays me
Is this almost over now
the walls caved in, the roof fell down
And I am finally
Tired of the lying
And the cloud that follows you...

You left me at the altar
My heart in my hand
I am tired and broken
Haunted by memories of
The life you've stolen

I am tired and broken
You left me at the altar
My heart in my hand
(YOU LEFT ME!)
(AND I WON'T FORGET!)
In my hand...
(YOU LEFT ME WITH MY HEART.. IN.. MY.. HAND!)
(I WON'T FORGET!)

You left me breathless
You left me scared
But your arms have never kept me warm
WHEN YOU WERE HERE!

And now my only hope is to take back what you've stolen
My life will go on without you...
And now my only hope is to take back what you've stolen
MY LIFE WILL GO ON WITHOUT YOU!

You left me at the altar
My heart in my hand
I am tired and broken
Haunted by memories of
The life you've stolen
You've stolen...
You've stolen...
(You left me in the end)
You've stolen...
(I WILL NOT FORGET!)


Live Version

2:15 AM / 17 November

The Running Free by Coheed and Cambria



All non-believers stand aside and fear
A new day's marching through the door
How could you ever think you'd make it here?
Did it bleed? Was it sore?
Through the struggles you've endured

You've come so far from innocence
Provided all the consequence
Only what does it matter now?

Cause you're going home
You're running free
As only you would be if you never owed them anything
And now you've found your way out
In the trust you've seen your path on home

Spend your time well before you go
Here in hell

Your living ends before the engineer
What was your motive in this fight?
(did they play you for the weaker of them?)
How could you ever think you'd make it here?
Was it greed that pushed your heart through the struggles you've endured?

You've come so far from innocence
Provided all the consequence
Only what does it matter now?

Cause you're going home
You're running free
As only you would be if you never owed them anything
And now you've found your way out
In the trust you've seen your path on home

Spend your time well before you go
Here in hell

(There's a hell in all of us)
Spend your time well before you go...
(There's a hell in all of...)
In a law that's all your own
(There's a hell in all of us)
There are no secrets you can hide
(There's a hell in all of...)
From yourself, in your mind, leave the worst of all behind

Cause you're going home
You're running free
As only you would be if you never owed them anything
And now you've found your way out
In the trust you've seen your path on home

Cause you're going home
You're running free
As only you would be if you never owed them anything
And now you've found your way out
In the trust you've seen your path on home

Spend your time well before you go
Here in hell

12:38 AM / 16 November

I don't know if I've ever posted this band up before. They have quite a good sound to them and the guitars are quite tight. Sad thing is that they've disbanded already. Although, some of the remaining members did come together to create a new band. But I somehow feel the musicians were better when they were in this setup. Anyway, enjoy =)


Across Twenty-Six Winters by Phoenix Mourning



As I end this war.
Like many times before.

I burned these words and without a reason.
Spit out ashes your fasting on happiness.
This subtle remorse, i claimed treason of course.
The mirrors truth is my reflection.
This subtle excuse, no one to blame but you.

Secrets that you cherish you will take to the grave.
It always kills me to see you endure the pain.
And i calculate the same mistakes always being made.
As i shattered this glass that reflects my face.

I died tonight.
(As i end this war)
And never felt so alive.
(Like many times before)

I tried to explain to you all of my callous ways.
But i can no longer justify that my past was to blame.
As methodically as the seasons will always change.
I would tear off my facade and replace it with a new face.
And each time a new scar would surface for me to remember.
That it's been twenty six winters and i still have not surrendered.

But if i died tonight my letter would read.

Dear you,

My last breath was in vain.

Sincerely,
ME.

Across twenty six winters.
I died that December night and i still can't remember.
(Across December)

Your apathy does not go unnoticed.
And I'm sorry but they all see through you.
Finally face to face.
And finally this ends today.
(Your apathy does not ever seem noticed)

Today I will end this war like many times before.
Before the sun sets . . .

Across twenty six winters.
I died that December night and i still can't remember.
(Across December)

Finally face to face.
(And I'm sorry)
And finally this ends today.
(But they can see through you)

9:02 PM / 30 October

Why can't there be more bands like Protest The Hero? They are the only band I've managed to find that plays the type of music they play. It takes brains to do what they do. They are able to write a whole story and represent it with great technical musicianship. Maybe it's just me, but this world needs more intelligent bands like them.


'Blindfolds Aside' by Protest The hero




We woke up as men but tonight we'll sleep as killers
As we break the cryptic morning with a bullet and a prayer

The steel never seemed more cold and agile than life never seems less vital and fragile
With a heart that's beating louder than my own

I watch a girl they call Kezia
I watch a woman that I know
my hopes and my own future blindfolded

To atone for a sin I didn't care for, but a sin that paid my debts
A sin that fed my children and burned my smiles and cigarettes
and No one ever said that hope would be so beautiful
and no one ever said I had to pull that trigger, on her
I can't even still her trembling hands that were locked up by the dutiful and obligated;

Five soldiers forever sedated with the,
"No one's responsible" psychological drama of our social justice dribble
Her tiny steps tell lies about the choice I have to make;
Resurrect a static lifetime to starve to death my own mistakes

So pull the screaming trigger and watch your carcass bleed me dry
Or drop the gun and try to shake away the blindfold from your eyes?

Drop the gun(kill her), drop the gun(shoot her), drop the gun(kill her), drop the gun.

8:14 PM / 23 October

I'd take this over 'The Black Parade' any day of the week man...


'Now I Lay Thee Down' by Machine Head





I want to know
How it feels
When we die
Can you take me under?

[Chorus:]
Dream over
Grieve no more
And breathe one last time
Now I lay thee down

She watched me leave
Me bleeding
On the floor
As she takes me under

[Chorus]

Godless mimicry
White lights cemetery
Flashes of the angel's ivory wings
Images so many broke dreams
Of pain
Terror
Fear
Crippling

Follow the light into the tunnel
Or will it end up in a black hole?
Follow the light into the tunnel,
Dead in its end

What is love?
What is murder?
Within the eye of the beholder

[Solo: Demmel, Flynn, Demmel, Flynn]

What have I done?
I've gone and killed the only one I love
How could I do this?
I'm screaming at God
Why do you curse me?
Fuck it, load it, sever the day

[Chorus]

Now I lay thee down,
Underground

11:05 PM / 3 October

Vanilla Sky does a cover of Rihanna's 'Umbrella'




I don't think I really need to give the lyrics for this one. And in my opinion, this version sounds much better than the original

11:15 PM / 19 September

Here are my results for Year 2 Semester 1 in case anyone wanted to know.



(Click to see in full)


My current GPA is 3.581

12:07 AM / 13 September

NEW ATR VIDEO!!!

Not Alone by All That Remains



No more are the days that I will
Fear for I have found a strength that
None can match and I'll push forward

Never has the blood in my viens
Flowed so fiercely as when i feel this around me
I am whole

I'm not alone
With the touch of your hand
I am whole again

I'm not alone
With the touch of your hand
I am whole again

Now I feel the passion burning
This what drives me further strengthens
My resolve to push me further

(and I believe, that I am not alone)
I'm not alone!

I'm not alone
With the touch of your hand
I am whole again

I'm not alone
With the touch of your hand
I am whole again

No more are the days that I will
Fear for I have found a strength that
None can match and I'll push forward

Now I feel the passion burning
This what drives me further strengthens
My resolve to push me further

I'm not alone (I'm not alone)
With the touch of your hand
I am whole again

I'm not alone (I'm not alone)
With the touch of your hand
I am whole again

(I am whole again)
(I am whole again)

12:14 AM / 10 September

So here I am. I'm 18. I heard this was supposed to be some kind of milestone in one's life. Well...

I'll try not to say too much.

I always grew up expecting quite a bit on my birthday. When I was younger I was always thinking about getting this or that for my birthday. I was kinda a spoilt idiot. Then slowly, my 'expectations' (if that's what you want to call it) did not get met.

Even as I started to grow up and began to lower my expectations, there were always certain things that I wanted and in a way I somehow got disappointed every year. But do not mistake me, I am still grateful for all that I got. But then I look at my life now and I wonder, 'Why do I even care?'.

And you know what? I shouldn't care about mundane things like a birthday. These things are pretty much formalities in life. They say your birthday should be one of the happiest days in your life. Well, I don't care.

'Cause this are the best things that happened in my life which did not happen on my birthday:

• My mom recovered from cancer
• I made it to Anderson
• I made it out of Anderson respectably
• I made it to a polytechnic
• I met a great group of people who I call my friends
• I'm doing well for my standards at the moment
• My brother is getting married(Okay technically, this hasn't happened yet but it's happening soon. Don't let me down bro)

---

So again, it's my birthday and here's what I'm going to do today. I'm going to wake up. I'm going to eat. Then I'll be headed to Borders at Wheelock to see if they have a job opening. Then I'm gonna get my dad's birthday present. His birthday is tomorrow. Then depending on what happens, maybe I'll take a walk along Orchard Road. Then I'll come home, turn on my computer and watch the Simpsons or Whose Line Is It Anyway. Then I'll pass my dad his gift and get on with watching stuff on my computer. After that I guess I'll go to sleep.

Quite eventful don't you think?

---

But there are somethings that I do want. But these things are a sort of a round-the-year thing.

What I really want is to always be there for the people who are close to me. The people that I care for. To never leave their side. Not so that they remember me but just so that I can remember them for what they've done for me.

I want my brother to get married. Then, I want my brother to get his scholarship to study in Australia. Then after studying, I want a niece or a nephew from him. (Nah, just kidding on that point. Own time, own target bro)

I want my mom to get better in terms of health. I want my dad to stay employed, not for me, but for the family's sake.

I want to go to university. I either want to do business or go on to do a Bachelor's in English.

I want to have my own family. But that's a long way away so no rush 'cause technically I'm still not attached. Any takers? Hehe.

(I had to end this on a light note 'cause it seemed to sound more like a eulogy than whatever else I was supposed to write).

----------------
Now playing: All That Remains - The Air That I Breathe
via FoxyTunes

I will not relent no no
Never live with defeat, never falter
Just like the air that I breathe(like the air I breathe)
I will not choke on failure
And I will not choke on failure

I am a mortal man
But I'm not falling, I'm not broken yet
I am a mortal man
But I'll hold tight to my beliefs now

I have suffered defeat, pain, loss
Still I push to the edge, never falter
For this cements my beliefs
I'll remain my own master

2:01 AM / 8 September

Okay...There was actually a second point to my rant about MCR yesterday but I accidentally hit publish and it got posted and I was too lazy to edit it.

Here's the second part. This is more of a rant about MCR fans as opposed to MCR itself. Like I said, I don't mind MCR but they are not really that great.

This was taken from Machine Head's website:

Machine Head's "Best Album" win at last Thursday's Kerrang! Awards over pop-rock powerhouses My Chemical Romance and Fall Out Boy has apparently cut deep with fans of both bands, prompting a flood of angry whining and sad-faced emoticons on the Kerrang! message boards. Machine Head's upset victory over the multi-platinum softcore acts sent their inherently sensitive fans into an emotional frenzy, building into a tizzy of unparalleled proportions. Wrought with dismay, polished fingernails the world over lashed out at the band and metal as a whole with diatribes the likes of "MCR really should have won!!! I'm mad now!!!!”, "what a load of shit, who the fuck listens to them?" and "Stupid Machine Head!!", at times stooping so low as to say the competition was fixed, and often gravely endangering the integrity of their carefully sideswept hair with posts like "I H8 METAL, I H8 METAL, I H8 METAL, I H8 METAL, I H8 METAL, I H8 METAL, I H8 METAL".


C'mon man...Seriously...You expect MCR and Fallout Boy's albums to beat Machine Head's 'The Blackening' ? A lot of people have already said that 'The Blackening' is the best metal album of the year by far. And you expect it to be beaten by 2 mainstream bands? God...I just heard 1 song from 'The Blackening' and I'm already blown away. I've heard a couple of songs from 'The Black Parade' and 'Infinity on High' but I'm still not pulled in. Although 'The Black Parade(song)' did get me singing along to it. But it didn't blow me away.

And another thing, MCR and FOB have been around for about 6-7 years while Machine Head have been around for more that 10-12 years. Although their resurgence mainly began in 2003, they already had history and support behind them from their first few albums.

So, who would you actually expect to win? A couple of mainstream bands whose fan base tends to swing around according to trends and whose releases are mediocre at best? Or a band that released a monstrous record and has a loyal following?

I'm not hating on the bands. I'm just stating the stupidity in the MCR and FOB fans' comments on Machine Head's win.



----------------
Now playing: Saosin - Follow And Feel
via FoxyTunes

8:41 PM / 5 September

WTF? I just read a news story about a mosh pit incident at a MCR gig. They said that 10-15 people were sent to the hospital because of 'pit-related injuries'.

First things first, I never really thought you could mosh to MCR. I mean I don't mind MCR's music, but c'mon, it's not really something that could get me jumping up and down let alone make me run in circles.

2:02 AM / 5 September

My Curse by Killswitch Engage




I watched you walk away
Helpless, with nothing to say
I strain my eyes
Hoping to see you again

This is my curse (the longing)
This is my curse (time)
This is my curse (the yearning)
This is my curse

There is love burning to find you
Will you wait for me?
Will you be there?

Your silence haunts me
But still I hunger for you

This is my curse (the wanting)
This is my curse (time)
This is my curse (the needing)
This is my curse

There is love burning to find you
Will you wait for me?

Still I want
And still I ache
But still I wait
To see you again

Dying, inside, these walls (2x)

And I see your face in these tears? In these tears
And I see your face...

There is love (8x)

9:03 PM / 1 September

The Things He Carried by Vanna





Light it up
A flash so thin
Through a sky so grey

Look away
Our faces turned
Its a plea to the ear
Its a walk to my hands
Its a fall to my feet
To find sympathy

Now you're lost
In the dark
And nowhere to be found
But I know you'll be waiting there for us

His fortunes
Our futures at hand
We light
Light up like cities in the night

Light this
Like a happy scene
Its a set
Its all it takes
To trick our eyes
And fabricate
Honest
Honest goodbyes

Now you're lost
In the dark
And nowhere to be found
But I know you'll be waiting there for us
Our lives light up at times like these

At times
Our lives
Light up like cities in the night

His fortunes
Our futures at hand
We light
Light up like cities in the night

Like rivers
We splinter
You don't have to leave
Run away with me

---

What to do when you are really bored...Find a cardboard box and voila!

This image is subject to copyright...

9:50 PM / 31 August

Went back to Anderson for Teacher's Day. Met up with Fadhil, Pradip and Kelvin. Bumped into Yiyang and Yvonne while looking for the teachers. Only managed to see Mrs Chong, Mrs Lawrence and Mrs Lim(though she didn't teach me). Saw a couple others but didn't have time to talk to them. Syafiq came at around 12.

After that...Well let's just say it was sorta Anderson revisited. We found a cardboard box and we decided to have a bit of fun. Or tried to at least. We reminisced about our time in Anderson. All the dumb(or ingenious whichever way you wanna look at it) stuff we did. All the happenings.

I really wished I was back in Anderson during those times. I guess that's what memories are for...

---

The City Sleeps In Flames by Scary Kids Scaring Kids

The empire will fall like they planned on.
Can we even last through the night?
We watch as the sky scrapers crumble,
Under the burning blue sky,
That blinds our eyes.

This is our last chance,
To make things right.
Or we're lost forever,
Tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight.

Let's try to find a place to sleep.
It's going on days that we've been awake.
A sadness that I've never seen.
I said your name and you looked the other way.

Because these are my last words,
And this is my last breath.
I'd give you everything,
If there was something left.
I have nothing left to prove,
And I will live with my regrets.
I'd give you everything,
If there was something left.

The disconnecting count of days,
Are fading away.
The lives that we made.
Tear drops will spill from your blue eyes.
Intentions were wrong,
I apologize.
The empire has fallen
Like they planned on and we lost it all.
The city sleeps in flames.

Lost..
Time..
Everything's gonna be fine...
Right?
Everything's gonna be fine...
Right?
Everything's gonna be fine...
RIGHT?!
I can't find a way to live in this life.

The empire will fall like they planned on.
Can we even last through the night?
We watch as the sky scrapers crumble,
Under the burning blue sky,
That blinds our eyes.

Because these are my last words,
And this is my last breath.
I'd give you everything,
If there was something left.
I've got nothing left to prove,
And I will live with my regrets.
I'd give you everything,
If there was something left.

Because these are my last words,
And this is my last breath.
I'd give you everything,
But I've got nothing left.

8:23 PM / 30 August

HOLIDAYS ARE HERE!!!!!!


Hollywood Holiday by Love Me Butch



Catching up with the silence,
oh the silence of remembrance
Stop calling upon their names,
not to wait for their call
And it's all for good,
it's all for good
Skipping all the pages,
truth lies in this vacation
Went through a lot of trouble,
just to get through the rubble
Apart from you, to be apart from you
I'd paint around my house for good
I'd stay with all my heart not for you
Can't find it, once we leave it,
leave it all for what...

Well I can't stay forever,
all at different phases
Oh what am I thinking?
This situation brought it down for what
What do I get from that?
There must be a reason

I could use some of your pillows,
I'm lying by the beach
With your shadow out of reach,
shadow out of reach
Hey it's all for good,
to be apart from you
I'd break all the rules not for you
Can't find it,
once we leave it all for what...

Well I can't stay forever,
all at different phases
Oh what am I thinking?
This situation brought it down for what
What do I get from that?
There must be a reason

Would you buy, would you save
for a Hollywood Holiday?
Satisfying as you say
it's a Hollywood Holiday
Hey I can't stay forever,
all day praying to be here
I cannot stay forever...

Hate to be here,
trying to steal
your precious light for a second...
Love to hate you, drive through,
beneath you, scared to leave
you all I can

---

Love Me Butch are Malaysian and they rock.

18 August / 8:40 PM

Coheed And Cambria - Welcome Home

You could've been all I wanted
But you weren't honest
Now get in the ground
You choked off the surest of favors
But if you really loved me
You would've endured my world

Well you're just as I presumed
A whore in sheep's clothing
Fucking up all I do
And if it's here we stop
Then never again
Will you see this in your life?

Hang on to the glory at my right hand
Here laid to rest is our love ever longed?
With truth on the shores of compassion
You seem to take premise to all of these songs

You stormed off to scar the armada
Like Jesus played leader,
I'll drill through your hands
The stone for the curse you have blamed me
With love and devotion, you'll die as you sleep
But if you could just write me out
To neverless wonder... happy will I become
Be true that this is no option,
So with sin I condemn you
Demon play, demon out

Hang on to the glory at my right hand
Here laid to rest is our love ever longed?
With truth on the shores of compassion
You seem to take premise to all of these songs

One last kiss for you
One more wish to you
Please make up your mind girl...
I'd do anything for you
One last kiss for you
One more wish to you
Please make up your mind girl...
Before I hope you die

---

The idea of a concept album is really great. Concept albums are essentially whole albums that follow a plot or a storyline. A good example would be MCR's 'The Black Parade' or Green Day's 'American Idiot'.

Concept albums are pretty much Coheed and Cambria's main arsenal. All their albums revolve around 'The Armory Wars'. An actual 5-part story created by Coheed's lead singer Claudio Sanchez (There's even a line of comics related to this story). I won't go into that since that's not the main aim of this post. You can read more about it on wikipedia or something.

What I really wanted to talk about was that there is so much music can do. It's not just limited to expressing one's emotions or to send out a message. Lyrically, music can be so much more than what most artistes release these days. Most concept albums usually descend from the genre of rock and metal in particular the progressive subset of these two genres.

Concept albums, in my opinion, gives musicians the opportunity to not only have a separate avenue for expressing their music but are able to take their listeners on a journey turning their music into a sort of experience. Kinda like an audio book with a lot of melody and rhythms.

Concept albums also provide a good avenue for the analysis of literary works. Although I have yet to see a concept album based on an already existing story or novel, it will be kinda cool to see what good musicianship can accomplish with existing stories. Somewhat in the vein of one of Silverstein's songs 'The Ides of March' which is an analysis of sorts into Julius Caesar's relationship with Brutus prior to his assassination. But on a larger scale.

9:49 PM / 13 August

Killswitch Engage's Cover of Dio's 'Holy Diver'

And yes, the princess is Adam D.

Holy Diver
You've been down too long in the midnight sea
Oh what's becoming of me

Ride the tiger
You can see his stripes but you know he's clean
Oh don't you see what I mean

Gotta get away
Holy Diver

Shiny diamonds
Like the eyes of a cat in the black and blue
Something is coming for you

Race for the morning
You can hide in the sun 'till you see the light
Oh we will pray it's all right

Gotta get away-get away

Between the velvet lies
There's a truth that's hard as steel
The vision never dies
Life's a never ending wheel

Holy Diver
You're the star of the masquerade
No need to look so afraid

Jump on the tiger
You can feel his heart but you know he's mean
Some light can never be seen

Holy Diver
You've been down too long in the midnight sea
Oh what's becoming of me

Ride the tiger
You can see his stripes but you know he's clean
Oh don't you see what I mean

Gotta get away
Holy Diver

---

I think I've set some kind of new personal record or something. If I'm not wrong it's been 4 days since I last showered or took a bath of any kind.

6:59 PM / 11 August

Eat your guts out Power Rangers!



Meet the original Mighty Moshin' Emo Rangers.

Check them out at www.emorangers.com

10.56 PM / 10 August

Haha...Kelvin's gonna be pissed. I went to watch SingFest!!! Although I didn't exactly pay for the tickets...

To tell you the truth, I didn't even go in the concert area. You see, the beauty of Fort Canning Park is that it's a public park. You only need a ticket to enter the concert area. There was still a good view from the sides. Only thing is that the stage looks quite small. It's like when you pay for the rather cheap seats to watch a wrestling event.

But still, I got to see a7x. And their new song freakin rocked my balls off. Almost Easy was the name of the song. And M. Shadows promised to do another concert in Singapore! Haha. That I will go for. Hopefully....

I didn't get to see mxpx though. Fadhil was getting too tired so we left after a7x. Argh.

But it was still good. There'll most probably be another one next year. So I'll try to save up for that one. Depends on the bands but still a festival of that nature should not be missed.

1 August / 10:04 PM

So I haven't blogged in a while. I'll do that now.

So yeah...I was in KL the past Saturday and Sunday for my cousin's wedding. Oh my God. I think it will be the grandest wedding I'll ever see. It was at some massive convention hall. The pelamin was like a whole freakin stage. There was even a clarinet player playing as my cousin and his bride walked to the pelamin. There was a 3 course meal. The great thing is that the whole family from Singapore went to the wedding. My goodness. When we took a photo with the bride and groom, it was pure madness. Haha. But that's our family. Wild and eccentric.

So yeah. I know I've told him this but still... Congratulations to my cousin Ideham and his newly-wedded wife Rizka.

---

Bad Religion - Requiem for Dissent

Oratory of hope and glory a whisper and a rhyme
An effigy, a soldier out of time
Citizen and patriot you can't be far behind
The funeral is weighting heavy on your mind

Requiem
Bring the dissident from slumber
Requiem
Raise the rebel from its grave
Requiem
Sound the revolution's thunder
A monumental blunder averted and betrayed

Dig around the cemetery a record of the day
Friends and neighbors in stages of decay
But the saddest thing of all eludes discovery
The stimulus for this somber ceremony

Requiem
Bring the dissident from slumber
Requiem
Raise the rebel from its grave
Requiem
Sound the revolution's thunder
A monumental blunder averted and betrayed

The sanctimonious minions how they grovel at the feet
Authority is populist deceit
Pity yet another casualty's demoralized decline
Just a victim of irrational design

Requiem! Requiem!
Requiem
Bring the dissident from slumber
Requiem
Raise the rebel from its grave
Requiem
Sound the revolution's thunder
A monumental blunder averted and betrayed

Who doesn't like good ol' punk rock. A great CD anyone should get is the Warped Tour Compilation. All the old punk acts and all the new ones. Great mix of stuff. Get it.

14 July / 9:24 PM

Went to watch Bandzout yesterday organized by SIT. Great bands. Not sure who won though.

I hope the last band, PE Lesson Heroes (obviously the name is a rip off of Gym Class Heroes. lol) won. Pure old skool punk. Haha. They played the Ramones, Arctic Monkeys and old skool Blink-182. Had the whole place up in a storm. If they didn't then hopefully Leviathan won. They played the Trooper and Smoke on The Water. Who wouldn't love that?

But there were only five bands. Five. Then number that can be counted on only one hand. And 4 out of the 5 bands played only 2 songs. I remember more bands and more songs in last year's competition. Maybe it was because of the guest bands. Let me see, there was Iron Buddha, Bad Obsession and Firebrands. Iron Buddha and Firebrands were great.

Bad Obsession, not so. They are just a damn ripoff of Ronin, a band which I also happen to hate. Singing with fake accents and dressed up like they think they were good enough. It just seems like one big gimmick.

---

Why can't they show the Download Festival in Singapore?



Resurrection by Chimaira

7 July / 11:53 AM

Just got back from watching Transformers with Khalis, Nadhirah and Syafiq. Syafiq actually had cash. Surprising...

Nah, just kidding.

So like yeah, just when I thought the gigs weren't going to get any better Midas Promotions does a 2-day music festival called SINGfest at Fort Canning on the 8th and 9th of August. Screw National Day man, Avenged Sevenfold and MxPx are coming down to do a performance. The NDP could drown into the Marina Basin for all I care. A single day pass for $150 and you get to watch a7x, MxPx, Cobra Starship, Gym Class Heroes and Hinder. 12 pm to 11 pm. Nearly 10 hours...That sounds great.

ARGH! But its still 150 bucks.

---

Projects, projects, projects. *Sighs*

Don't really know if it's worth all my trouble. I know I've made the right choice. I'd be dead in JC just like some of my friends are if I had gone that direction. So good luck to them. But somehow I have the feeling that I wouldn't be as helpless there as I am sometimes in poly. I mean I thought there were idiots in this world. I mean there can't be a person who could piss me off as much as Bush does, but I was wrong. Even James wasn't that big of a pendejo.

You know, they do call it group work for a reason. Emphasis on the word GROUP. I thought being a leader for almost every single project was tough, but I realize the power I have in my hand. I could make you or break you. Thank your lucky stars I haven't broken you, but when I do, say goodnight bitch.

---

MxPx has a new video out. It's called 'Secret Weapon'. Really old skool pop punk. Fast, simple and straight to the point.





Just before I go, I just wanna say that I may have just let my second chance slip through my hands. Hope it doesn't come around to bite me in my ass.

That's the end. I'm outta here.

4 July / 12:03 AM

School's hit me hard. Did quite well on my tests considering that I wasn't expecting much. Now the projects will start taking it's toll. Just waiting for the shit to hit the fan and the bodies to fall by the wayside.

I've been toying around with a couple of lyrical ideas lately. And a riff, but that needs a lot of improvement. Still too simple.

Back to the lyrics. I wanted to write something not based purely on emotions nor do I want to write another political poem. Then the other day I got hit with this idea. Fadhil said something about decorating one's self. That got me thinking. We live in a world bound to the concept of beauty not in its purest nature. Instead it is bound by status quo and an ever evolving "universal standard". A standard created based on the pressures of the "real" world. A standard that just creates more untruths than truths.

Thus the term cosmetic was born. Cosmetic: used or done superficially to make something look better, more attractive, or more impressive.

Following that, there has always been a quest to attain beauty through the cosmetic. With some going as far as to mutilate themselves. This also causes delusions about beauty and one's own appearance and how they appear to themselves. This can be so extreme to the point that the shadow seems detached from what was real. I wanted to represent this paranoia or delusion in a lyrical form. Of one who sees nothing positive about themselves even after change.

It's still a bit raw in terms of connecting part to part. I wrote in a blaze of inspiration without any pre-meditation so that could be a reason why certain parts make no sense. As for lyrical parts, why don't you try guessing...

---

Unpretty (Unedited and Raw)


You see scars in place of a masterpiece
You blame yourself for what is real
But there is no place for reality
In your head, the scars never heal


The sights not what it used to be
No longer is there sweet sincerity
The scars you had have never been
Misguided you are, unpretty


A piece of art will never be
Unless it's artist deems it done
Not you, it'll never end
Unfinished 'til dreams and reality become one


Your life not what it used to be
Your shadow's not you nor is he
Your canvas will never dry
Til the end you'll be, unpretty


You don't even recognize yourself
The mirror cracks with your face full of lies
Reflections of a person not what used to be


In self-torment you'll scream...


The time's not what it will ever be
With time grows more dishonesty
With lies comes the end
The end of beauty, unpretty

---

Anyone is free to add their opinion be it to the subject matter or to the lyrics themselves. It's a free country and the freedom was never meant to be pretty.

1 July / 10:47 PM

Oh my god....Just when I thought this year's gig line-up couldn't get any better....


Heaven And Hell a.k.a. Black Sabbath and Ronnie James Dio are coming to Singapore. 27th October. $125 for tickets. Fort Canning Park.

Watch Gods descend in Singapore in the form of Heaven And Hell. But how I wished it was Ozzy.

Oh well, can't get them all I guess.

22 June / 1:23 AM

Just when I thought that I was back listening to metal, I get hit by this. Madina Lake, an alternative/punk band that was signed by roadrunner records, a metal label. It'll be funny to see these guys hang around with the likes of Trivium and KsE.

But these guys sound great. They may not have growling vocals or complex guitar riffs but what they bring is such a massively infectious energy in their song. Especially in their single 'House of Cards'. And just like any great band should, they are very impressive when playing live. They do not lose any of their energy on stage.

---

So I got word that Funeral For A Friend are coming to Singapore. 75 bucks for a ticket. Right...

This year has seen a truckload of internationally known bands drop by Singapore. Up till this point there are about 6 bands that have or are going to perform in Singapore. Let me see, there was the small NOFX gig, the Dragonforce tour, Sick of it All dropped by for a gig too, the Anberlin/Copeland gig and now Funeral For a Friend. Boy, how I wish I could have gone to all those gigs. These are all great bands but there hasn't been any gig I was too excited about. No really important gigs.

Concerts that I will surely pay money for would be one done by Metallica, an Iron Maiden one maybe, B4MV,Ozzy, Saosin (They stayed in Singapore for the night but played a gig in Indonesia), and maybe a Beetles reunion.

Other than that not many concerts really tickle my fancy. This is mainly because of the f**kin high ticket prices promoters usually put up. 75 bucks for FFAF?! And most of these bands usually play a gig a day. Imagine the money they earn. Damn...

17 June / 12:52 AM

This is a massive live set by KsE. Love this song. And Adam D with his shorts. Haha.

Oh yeah. There are a lot of vids of Download '07 on Youtube. A lot of great live sets. KsE has a set on there too. Shadows Fall weren't too bad too. Still got quite a few sets to watch.

---

Mathcore is a crazy genre. Damn technical and practically little or no arrangement. As in there are parts to the music but just not in the conventional sense. And did I say it was technical? I mean it really is. I've only listened to Protest The Hero but it is already sounding crazy to me.

12 June / 11:26 PM

This is a great song. I've suddenly become more interested in metal recently after listening to a lot of hardcore/post-hardcore stuff this past month.

I think the movement towards that direction really began with Saosin. Then from there I started to listen to Silverstein.

I think I just started to miss all that shredding stuff. That's when I heard 'The Air That I Breathe' by All That Remains. The great sound coupled by the great video drew me back into metal I guess. Now I'm back to B4MV and all that stuff.

ATR's genre is quite weird though. Death Metal/Melodic Hardcore. That's a first.

I really need to go jamming again. I think I'm spending too much time alone with my guitar.

---

One last thing. LOL at this. Human Tetris.

Haha.

10 June / 3:02 AM

It's 3 AM and I still don't feel like going to sleep. I almost went into a panic just now. I was trying to install XP on my computer but something happened and I got BSOD'd with an error log. Boot sector problems or so it seems...Argh!!!

Holidays are here. Yay. I seriously needed this timeout. The pressure and the sheer speed at which this semester is going is killing me.

ASP.NET. Woohoo. Great programming platform, tough to execute. The drag and drop element is quite fun but seeing all those tags really makes me dizzy. I guess I'm just too used to the good old HTML platform. it made things so much easier then. Even Dreamweaver doesn't excite me now. Being able to go down to that raw level of detail is really fun. Even though I'm not advanced, I still prefer it to most other programming stuff. (Even though HTML isn't really that hard to learn)

Played soccer today. Somewhere in Toa Payoh. In the hot freaking sun. I can still feel the heat in my hair. Played with a couple of Fadhil's friends and his friend's friends. It was fun, but I swear that I will never play at noon ever again. The heat was just f***ing crazy. Something must have melted somewhere some time today and it was not ice cream. How did I even survive that? Man...

Certainly isn't the same as playing with Marc and Co. though. It's just more fun with them. All the stupid stuff that happens. Let it be Marc breaking his back or someone getting hit in the balls. Or is that what happens when I play with my poly class?

It's almost 3.30 now. Still not a little bit sleepy. More bored than anything else. I think I need to start reading more. As in books, not lecture notes. I'm still targeting to get Blink! by Malcolm Galdwell (I think that's the author). I think it's been 2 years that I've been wanting to get that book. Oh well...When the time comes I guess.

4 June / 11:12 PM

Oh man...No time to blog....Schoolwork is catching up on me.

Wait...What schoolwork?

Slacking off big time. I know what's going on and I can understand most of what's being thought, but I'm just too lazy to care. I'm pretty much just living for the moment...or whatever is left of it. I study in school, do parts of the project when needed to, but I'm just lacking that all important kick that gave me my 3.7 in Year 1 Sem 1. What the who. I'll start focusing soon. need to maintain my position going into the course streaming.

I have sand in my hair. Even though I showered I can still feel a few beads on my scalp. But it was all for fun. Had fun with all the Budak Melayu Anderson at East Coast Park. I can't believe that almost everyone was there. And being the stoner I am, I forgot to bring an extra T-shirt and ended up spending time in the sand. But it was all worth it. To get away from the stresses of school.

I need to do some major maintenance on my comp if it's going to take my school workload. I need to switch to XP. Vista is eating up resources. A lot of it. I tell you, if you ever want to switch to Vista, make sure your computer can handle it. Even if it's "Vista Compatible" it may not be fully able to handle the needs of Vista. So stick to XP.

At least Vista has good security. That's always a plus.

5 March / 11.25 PM

I really don't know what to do now. I don't know if I can save the situation. It seems like everything i love and care for is being taken away from me. Just when I think I have found my faith it seems like I'm losing everything else. Is this life? is this how it was meant to be. I may seem strong but emotionally I bruise easily. Only this time, I feel like I'm going to be ripped to shreds.

Why me? Why? I know I've done some bad things that no one knows about. A secret betwen me and myself. But I try to change. I really do. It's hard to break bad habits they say. But what if it was the worst habit? No one knows about it and because of that no one seems to care. Now as I slowly try to change, my world changes like light.

I sit here thinking, 'Is this what was really meant for me?'.

It's so hard being so young yet having to think so far ahead of me I don't even know what's ahead of me. I try to scream. But I know no one will hear it. Am I going crazy? Is this just delusional thinking?

To see things so close yet so far apart makes my heart tear apart. I'm standing on glass. If everything around me falls apart, I'll fall straight down with them. Gone into the darkness. It's fitting knowing what I feel like deep beneath the surface.

No one knows what goes inside my head. Should they know? Should I tell them?

I'm worried. Not for myself but for those around me. Those close to me. At times I just feel so alone that even the emptiness seems to want to distance itself from me. It just leaves me in a vaccuum filled with all my thoughts.

It's like seeing a piece of metal fall and break like glass. It's supposed to hold, but somehow beneath all that it just crumbles.

I'd give anything and everything just to have things back the way they were. All that I own. All that I am. All that I will be is here.

Am I the cause of all of this?

Am I the problem?

Am I the odd man out?

Am I nothing?

I know I am capable of everything. But somehow at the end of it all, I may just become nothing.

This is not random. It's the truth.

5.00 AM / April 5

I now truly believe that since watching Man U win the treble I will never be able to see Man U play a good match. You see, I don't have cable and since TV rights have sky-rocketed I pretty much have no soccer to watch. But thanks to an external antenna(I don't even know if this is spelt correctly), I can watch the UEFA Champions League through an intercepted transmission of Malaysian and Indonesian free-to-air channels. And seriously, every time I watch Man U play it never looks like what I read about in the papers. I know that this is Europe's premier club competition but come on...Being outplayed more times than I can count on my fingers and not being able to answer back is kinda retarded.

I think I know the problem. Man U's first team is stellar while their reserves are like Man City(I know this dosen't make sense). I'll try to explain. Except for a few notable players (i.e. Park, Solksjaer, Heinze,etc) there is no considerable quallity in their reserve side. It's only made up of a group of players who have never really made enough of a mark to really own a place in the first team. Example : O'Shea. He's been in the team for a considerable amount of time but has yet to really show that he can own a place in the first team. The most he can do is make cameo appearances in the form of a late substitute. Other than that, he hasn't really stepped up. But when it comes time for them to step up they stutter. So when crunch time comes (and this usually happens during the Champions League) they seem to under-perform. Thus the bad performances that I am left with to watch.

Jamming this Friday again. It feels so good to jam again. Last Friday was a blast and we jammed in the best studio I've been in ever. There was actually space to walk around. There was even a sofa. Cool right? And damn this new band is great. I don't know if it's permanent but it sure is great. I was playing bass and I didn't have to worry about anything else. Everyone kept in time except for a few slip-ups where we forgot the arrangements but it was great overall. I got two songs to learn, Razorblades by Story Of The Year and Sleepers by Saosin. Sleepers is a tough song to learn. The riffs are just all over the place but I managed to grab a hold of it quite fast. Now I'm just left with memorizing the arrangement for Razorblades and I should be ready. Can't wait to jam. But one little thing...We need a VOCALIST!

5.53 AM / March 26

As you can see above on the top of this window, I have changed the title of my site. No more Mutilated Mind. I don't even know what that meant.

I remember way in sec 4 Lisda always asked me what 'subliminalintellect' meant and to a certain extent I haven't really given her a proper explanation. So here it is...

Here's what I know. The brain at any point of time is only a very small amount of its power to process everything we do. The rest of it is the subconscious mind. Aware but not really in use.

What if the subconscious mind could grow in power to become sort of a secondary conscious mind? The subconscious mind still processes stuff, just without your knowledge. So what if you leave the stuff usually processed by the conscious mind to the subconscious mind to deal with?

I don't just listen to music half of the time. I try to decipher it. Break it down to guitars, bass, vocals drums and whatever else that could be in there. Quite a tough thing for your brain to do. Takes time. But I don't have that time. I have to study most of the time you see. Either that or something else. So I just do it while I do something else.

Amazingly, there are times that I realize that I actually have figured out whole songs even though I don't sit down and listen to them. I find myself able to re-create the timings and general riffs of the whole songs in my head without really remebering listening to the songs that often. But not really to the exact chords or lyrics. Things like drum-pedal timings and general switches in timing.

Sooner or later, I could figure whole drumming sequences while doing things like studying or reading. This pretty much amazed me. Was I just simply slacking off or was I actually using my subconscious mind more effectively?

I'm still very much fascinated by the power of the subconscious mind. This is what subliminalintellect is based on and what it represents. Being able to comprehend and understand without really realizing it. Not just in everyday mundane circumstances, but in more amazing situations where you pretty much turn it into a superpower. Imagine reading about Biology while listening AND understanding a lecture on Physics at the same time.

The power of the subconscious mind is an untapped resource at most. Make full use of it.

6:57 AM / March 21

Got my results. Not too happy. Screwed up big time. This is the second time I am trying to write this post. First post got messed up. That one was quite long. I'll make this one briefed 'cause I'm just too freaking pissed.


Statistics C+ (Expected a C)
Economics B (Expected an A)
Management B+ (Expected an A)
Data Comms and Networking B+(REALLY thought I had the A in the bag)
Java Programming A (Phew....That's one A)
Java Project B+ (I really didn't know what to expect from this one)
French B+(Now I know why people hate the French so much. I knew I had an A)


That's all??? Just one friggin A??? God I suck. Man, this is screwed up. I expected at least 4 As. What did I get? 4 friggin B+'s. God really hates me. I mean look at this.

Data comms : I did almost all the tutorials went for all the lectures.

Economics : I fucking love Economics . It's pretty much all of life's lessons rolled in one.

French : I'm a linguistic person. I can't believe I didn't ace this.

Management : With all the hints this is all I get? You gotta be kidding me.

See these 4 subjects? I thought I was going to get an A for all of them. I knew I needed the A 'cause I had screwed up Statistics by the time these papers rolled around. I needed them to pull up my overall grade. But no....all I get are justs a chunk of B+'s. This is life.

Thank goodness I know why I screwed up. And no it is not my PSP's fault. In fact I figured out JAVA Programming thanks to that. Maybe I'll explain to you the actual reasons in my next post.

4:55 am / March 18

So, I'm back it seems. Not that I've been anywhere. I've just been at home all this time. Well maybe except for the impromptu sleepover at Fadhil's house a couple weeks back and the class chalet a couple of days after that. Other than that I've been at home. Just lazing around getting myself ready for the new term which is like happening in a month's time.

My online life has taken quite a stumble this past month. My old beat-up laptop/PC went dead on me. I think it just got overloaded by the JAVA project. Lost quite a bit of my data on it. My songs especially. Managed to salvage only about 70% of my tracks. Luckily all my schoolwork was saved. I tried to save the godammed thing. Pretty much that was how the impromptu sleepover happened. Went over to Fadhil's house after my final paper. Pradip was there too. We tried to figure out what was wrong (even Pradip included). Tried formatting the thing by installing Windows again. Couldn't work as the hard drive couldn't even be read. So being the guys that we were we decided to dismantle it. Just the cover though. We're not that crazy. Didn't manage to reach the hard drive though. After that Fadhil tried a recovery. Didn't work. Finally he found a possible solution, at about 11 pm I think. Most likely it could have been a problem with the driver for the hard drive. Haven't had a chance to try it out though as it requires a diskette.

So now I got a new PC. Didn't manage to get the laptop that I had been asking for but what the heck. My PC only costs 300 bucks. My bro's friend put it together for me. P4 celeron, 1.68 GHz, 256 RAM, Matrox Video Card, DVD-Writer and an old skool floppy drive. Quite a good deal ain't it? Haha. The wonders of technology. I still need a new keyboard and a monitor. I'm currently using my old ones, a CRT and a stock keyboard. Oh yeah, and better speakers.

Now I'm just waiting for my results which are due in like a few days. I think I might be getting something around the range of 3.3 . My Statistics could probably pull me down. Wasn't confident of that one in the first place. I gotta focus. What am I doing. Forgetting about your future already huh Fariq? I hope not.

One last thing before I go, Where the heck was Hadi posted to?

My Youth Is Slipping Away

"My youth is slipping, my youth is slipping away
Safe in monotony, day after day
My youth is slipping, my youth is slipping away
Cold wind blows off the lake and i know for sure that it's too late"

The four lines above are an excerpt from Alexisonfire's song called 'Boiled Frogs'. It kinda signifies my life currently. 3 projects, 5 exams, French Oral Test tomorrow, alot of pressure on my shoulders from both internal and external sources. Dosen't anyone out there feel like this?

Something ironic happened on Tuesday. Statistics lecture had just finished. We just finished up the topic on Regression Analysis. On the way back home, while on the bus, the wierdest thing happened. I was starting on a new chapter of Freakonomics and guess what it was all about? Regression analysis. They were using it to figure out why some kids just do better than some kids in school. They took data from a study on all first grade students in the Chicago state district. The data contained specific details such as family income, whether the kids were spanked, how much TV they watched, the honesty of their parents and so on so forth. Using regression analysis, they were able to align every kid by every single possible data possessed by them and analyzed the grid to see what really caused a kid to do poorly in school. The kids were tracked until 8th grade*.

The results show that all the factors that parents attribute to a child doing well in school does not affect how he/she actually does in school.

From the study, it was found that the following factors affect how a child does in school :

- whether the child's parents were highly educated
- the child's parents have high socioeconomic status
- the child's mother was thirty or older at time of birth
- the child's parents speak English at home

These are just a few factors taken from the study in the book. Understand that this is based on the data collected from the study of the students in the Chicago state district. It may not extend to other regions but the large base could indicate so. If you really want to know why I suggest you pick up the book. Its not that expensive. It's actually quite cheap. I got it for around RM36(I bought it in Malaysia, duh!). It's an interesting read. You should really check it out.


I've been somewhat rather into art the past 2006. Thanks alot to my brother who's studying to be an art teacher. But the art I'm into is not your regular art. More of rogue art. Here's a little something from a guy named Derek Hess.

Valentine by Derek Hess

(Fine art print)

Implosion by Derek Hess

(Fine art print)

My bro bought this from him the other time when he came down to Singapore for BayBeats.

Burned Out by Derek Hess

(Fine art print)

This is my personal favourite.

Check out the rest of his work at DerekHess.com

The other form of rogue art I'm particularly in to is stenciling. Not home decorating stenciling. The stuff of political revolutions type of stenciling. Check this out.

All these were done on the streets. If you want to see more, check out stencilrevolution.com

Well, that's all I have to say for now. I need to get ready for my French Oral Test tomorrow. Au Revoir everyone.

*The ECLS data was collected before the Freakonomics guys started their study. So by the time they actually got around to doing the study they were sitting on the pile of data that they were looking for.

Year In Review

I know it's already 11 days into 2007, but I still have to do sort of a lookback at 2006 seeing that it is an important time in my life what with entering polytechnic and all. So I'll just be marking out a few things from 2006 that were memorable for me.


1.) O-Level Results

This is the most important thing from 2006. My results. Results which pretty much gave me the choice to go anywhere I wanted to go.

L1R5 15(raw) 12(net) L1B4 12

A1 Combined Humanities
A2 English Language
B3 Pure Literature
B3 Higher Malay
B3 Elementary Mathematics
B3 Pure Physics
B3 Pure Chemistry

Do I rule or do I rule?


2.) Entry into NY'fuckin'P

The next big step. I hesitated in choosing between Business Management and Business Informatics. I made a snap decision in choosing Business Informatics seeing that I could possibly learn more. At that time I was also rather curious about IT so I had to take it. Turns out to be great.

What wasn't so great was the politics of my new class. People who didn't know what they were getting themselves into and at the same time were forming cliques faster than you could say 'Get me out of here'.

See, that's something I don't get. Why are there cliques? I never actually belonged to a clique my whole life. Not that I know of. I like to mix around, getting to know people. It helps when you have to manipulate them for your own future benefit*.

Tried out for soccer. Why did I even try. Even the best ones from my secondary school batch would have made it.

Got 3.7 GPA for my first semester. Wanted a 4 but I guess you can't have them all.

Now I'm trying my best to maintain that figure. If it drops I can only blame one thing. OOPPJ. Object-Oriented Programming Project. I don't get it. Why can MIT do theirs all alone and we have to do in groups? Programming is not really a group thing. Especially when the group is incompetent. There. i said it. Kill me some other time.

Politics. Fuck Politics.

3.) Movement for the Intellectually Disabled of Singapore

First three months of 2006. I had planned to work. Earn some cash. But jobs didn't seem to be coming. In comes my aunt. Principal of MINDS Jurong Garden School. She asked me to drop by the day after Hari Raya Haji. And guess what? I was there for 3 months. Cool huh? A big guy like me returning to the community.

4.) X-Square, The X-Box, Me and Pradip

Hehe. This...This kept me from falling into complete boredom during the holidays. Me and Pradip and X-box console number 84 at X-Square Dhoby Ghaut. Man, we owned that console practically right Dip? I remember that one time, on Fadhil's birthday, after celebrating at Seoul Garden, we followed him as he went to work. Saw him clock in and off we went to X-Square. 4pm we went in. We left at 11pm. Talk about damn right crazy. Worst thing. We both almost had zilch cash on us. Luckily there was an ATM nearby.

It's sad that the X-Square there has made way for some dumb LAN/net gaming centre for Chinese people (Who else plays all these dumb Japanese created games like MapleStory? It wasn't a CS, Warcraft type of LAN centre. It was all the cutie shit the Chinese folk are into.) It was sad. Pradip's and my hardwork on console 84 was gone just like that.

5.) Music

Man. Music. What else can I say. It's my favourite subject. Not in secondary school though. I was practically living on MySpace looking through all the Indie and Underground bands. All the up and coming bands from abroad and Singapore. Singapore has more talent than what you see. Its not just confined to Ronin or Electrico. Those bands are just cheap imitations of their idols. I can't believe that I actually thought that they were good for the Singapore scene.

A Vacant Affair, 20 Dischanger, My cousin's band Rejected Scums, Firerands. These are good bands. They sound good. They should carry the flag. Not some deadbeat albino idiot.

What band really blew me away in 2006? Nope, not B4MV, not even Metallica.

DRAGONFORCE.

Power metal is back and my god, it dosen't come any deadlier than them



DragonForce - Through The Fire And The Flames

Herman Li is crazy. He is one of the best guitarists I've seen since seeing Malmsteen smash up his guitar while playing it. He pulls of scales like they were nothing. And the video game sounds. Haha. He's just crazy man. Holding the guitar by the whammy bar. Man...My jaw was just hanging the first time I stumbled upon this video. Downright god-like.


Bands I loved in 2006(in no particular order) :

Bullet For My Valentine
Atreyu
Killswitch Engage
DragonForce
(+44)
Avenged Sevenfold
Vanna
Alkaline Trio
Rise Against
Alexisonfire


6.)Books

Hmmm...This might seem weird, but I actually got some reading done. And they were not just any books. These books made a point.

First book - Metallica: This Monster Lives

Metallica when they first started out didn't want to be just famous. They wanted to rule the world. But when you grow up to become an man, ruling the world takes its toll on you. This book trails Metallica as they go through group therapy and is actually a tie-in to the Metallica documentary 'Some kind of monster'. It follows the band through 2 years of group therapy and at the same time the process of making the 'St. Anger' album and getting a new bassist to replace Jason Newstead.

This book thought me one important thing. All can be pretty on the surface but underneath it could be a different story. Metallica had growing problems as the entered millenium. 2 out of their past 3 albums were flops with the fans even though they did well on the charts. James Hetfield was going through rehabilitation for alcoholism and Jason Newstead had left the band. There was a point of time that seemed like there was no more Metallica.

But 2 years of therapy and lots of hugs has helped them work through problems. Problems they had as far as 20 years back. It might seem out of the norm for a group of men like Metallica. But think about it. They want to make music and they can't do it better than with anyone else except each other. They still want to rule the world, but conflicts were stopping them. Group therapy was pretty much the answer. And now, they're ruling the world again. Teaches us quite abit about resilience and understanding.

Second book - Freakonomics

I'll be honest. I haven't finished reading this yet as I started in the last week of December. But I liked it straight away. Its contents are simple. A set of seemingly unassuming questions and with the use of Economics, the answers to those questions which are far more interesting than first thought. I'll try to update more when I finish reading it.

I know it's only 2 books but its 2 more than the number of books I read in 2005.

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Well, that's pretty much it from 2006. I was planning to write more, but my eyes are sleepy and my hands are tired. Till then. Get out of here.